You're the new officer in a station where two firefighters argue constantly. Their unending bickering is damaging to the crew’s integrity and ability to function, and you fear it could escalate to more serious outcomes. You make initial efforts — outlined in part one — to assist the firefighters, Chris and Terry, in resolving the conflict between the two of them, but those efforts are not successful. Now it is time to seek outside help with the situation. How do you begin?

You have already told Chris and Terry earlier in the process that if the situation cannot be settled in-house, you plan to seek outside assistance to gain resolution. In doing so, the first person you should notify is your direct supervisor. He or she will be able to help you connect with other resources as necessary.

Most fire departments have access to resources to aid in interpersonal conflict resolution. Larger departments might have someone on staff specifically assigned to this role while most have relationships with Employee Assistance Programs, which have trained counselors or mediators available to help with conflict situations.

But don't overlook community resources as well. Many cities and counties have access to public or private mediation services that can be used for specific conflict mitigation. School districts have taken a leading role in this area, and can be a source of information and outside help.

Be clear and honest with Chris and Terry about your expectations and the actions you intend to take to resolve the problem; there should be no secrets or surprises in the process. From the beginning, you should be documenting all of your discussions with Chris and Terry, either singly or together. Tell Chris and Terry the first time you speak with them about the problem that you will be documenting the process and outcomes.

There are a couple things you should NOT do in this situation. The first thing to avoid is enabling the conflict in any way, such as by taking sides. The players will almost certainly try to manipulate you into doing this. Do not answer leading questions such as, "Don't you think that kind of behavior is disrespectful? What would you do in my situation?" As tempting as it might be to empathize with one or both, do your best to remain neutral and objective.

Helping crew members resolve conflict is one of the biggest challenges facing a company officer.

Second, do not downplay this problem or laugh it off. You must take action with these kinds of conflicts. They can escalate to very serious outcomes, including physical violence and injury. You need to take the problem seriously but it need not become the center of everything in the station. Give the situation the attention it needs for resolution to occur, but do not overreact.

Do not talk with others about the problem except as needed, such as informing your supervisor about the situation. In particular, do not complain to your friends off duty that Chris and Terry are acting like children and driving you crazy. This kind of talk will certainly get back to the others, and will only serve to make you look bad.

Do not take an authoritarian position or try to split the difference when mediating a dispute. For example, if Chris wants the thermostat at 68 and Terry wants it at 72, decreeing that the thermostat will stay at 70 and no one will touch it but you will do nothing to resolve the underlying issues. Such a stance will only undermine your own credibility and they will just find something else to argue about.

Finally, do not overstep your limitations when dealing with escalating interpersonal conflict. It is unlikely that you have the expertise or experience to diagnose personality disorders or to do psychological counseling. There may be some very serious and difficult issues involved in this conflict situation that are far beyond your ability to resolve. Pay attention, be proactive, and do your job, but don’t think you have to go it alone.

Helping crew members resolve conflict is one of the biggest challenges facing a company officer. Chris and Terry may never like each other, but if you can help them to reach the point where they treat each other in a civil and professional manner that enhances rather than detracts from crew cohesion and function, you will have accomplished much.