When on June 18 a large fire took the lives of nine Charleston firefighters, it was not business as usual. I have devoted my time to writing and studying the fire service and as a result had many times looked on as firefighters in distant places grieved over the deaths of other firefighters. But it in no way prepared me for the shock of losing nine firefighters from a department I loved and served on.

When the names started filtering out, I knew this was going to be difficult. Even if I hadn't worked with a person, the fact they wore a Charleston patch was enough. Turns out I knew and had worked with many of them. The world seemed to pause on its axis, taking a still photograph of the day so that it would be forever framed in my mind.

The family members were many of our first thoughts. Then the existential and practical questions began. Why these good men? How did it happen? Those questions and a hundred others would grow and turn into answers in most cases. As is the norm, the questions of an existential nature remain.

Billy Hutchinson wore a smile. I'd known Billy since I was a kid and he cut my hair, made me laugh and allowed me to play basketball with him. Later he was in 12 and then Ladder 5 where he and I worked together and slept side by side. I thought of Dot Hutchinson, his mother, and Randy, his brother, and wondered how they would fare.

Mike Benke was in three when I was there. Mike always had savings bonds! When we relieved B-Shift in the morning, Mike would talk about the previous day with me and Harry Griffin. Mike was Buddy Aytes' engineer and the truck was always kept up.

Straightforward manner
Earl Drayton was another person I knew practically my whole life. Hanging around Charleston stations since the age of 7, a lot of these guys were heroes and larger than life. Earl fit into the latter category, and when I started working with him I appreciated his straightforward manner. It appealed to my own personal way of dealing with issues.

Louis Mulkey started out in Engine 2 until his permanent assignment came through. I was next door in 3 so we got to know each other. Coming from Summerville, Louis took a lot of good natured ribbing about the high school he loved so much because as Green Wave fans go he was more dedicated than most.

Mark Kelsey, Brad Baity, Melvin Champaign, Michael French and Brandon Thompson all gave their lives that night and I knew two of them from having briefly met them. Each was an honorable person, full of life and ready to serve.

The grief is palpable. Much has changed over the last year in the lives of those associated with the Charleston Fire Department. What remains a constant is the nine men. We love each of them just as we love and honor the families and Charleston firefighters.