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What are the struggles of a firefighter marriage?

Once the glamour wears off, and reality sets in, it’s not for everyone

Being married to a firefighter is not for everyone.

You have to be able to deal with the long hours away from home, the midnight pager wakeup calls and the reality that your spouse may not come home from a shift or a call.

We asked our fans on Facebook to share some struggles they’ve encountered in their firefighter marriages. Read the responses below. And remember, as tough as it is, spouse support means everything.

1.“Trust as a female firefighter in a new relationship. It’s hard to explain to the new boyfriend the closeness between me and my fellow brothers.” — Carole Kessinger Starcher

2.“Not being able to tell your spouse about your calls, because you don’t want them to worry about you.” — Jason Sherwood

3.“Getting others to understand that our time is our time. My husband is a volunteer and he also works 12-hour shifts as a jailer. The time we get is so rare and so precious! We make sure to have at least one day, every two weeks, completely devoted to us.” — Marisa Koehn

4.“Time management. I am a wife of a volunteer, we have four children, and he has a full-time job. Finding time to spend together is hard. We have one other rule: no fire station talk at home.” — Courtney Beck

5.“Long hours and his grumpiness.” — Rebecca Ann Newlin

6.“My beloved and precious spouse is not super happy about my neglect of our family in favor of spending time preparing for and responding to other people’s emergencies, especially considering there is no paycheck involved. Who could blame her?” — Allen John Cameron

7.“I’m career and I find it hard to express and connect on things I’ve seen or gone through.” — Christopher Langston

8.“Feeling like I raise our kids by myself.” — Dawn Murray Hodgin

9.“Terror that your significant other will not come home.” — Tammy Billings

10.“My husband does not like the pager going off in the middle of the night.” — MaryBelle Hamilton

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