EMMITSBURG, Md. — The National Fire Academy and the National Fire Prevention Association are jointly endorsing a new recruit-training standard known as Stoogistics. The program is already in place in four major cities with dozens of others ready to roll it out in the coming months.
“Have you ever seen a Stooge seriously injured?” asked program developer and co-founder of Shemp Training Ltd. Howard Kurley. “Of course not. And when Stoogistics is applied to firefighting, firefighters will be immune to injury, too.”
Some of the evolutions recruits in this program will go through will include the horizontal ladder swing, where those standing nearby are hit in the head and knocked to the ground.
Recruits will also practice blasting each other with a 2 1/2 line and falling off the tailboard of a moving rig and chasing it down the middle of the street.
“Just the act of showering in your turnout gear will not only keep the bunkers clean, but have you on the truck faster when the tone drops,” Kurley said.
But not everybody is excited about the new program.
One source in the NFA, who asked not to be named, said he was concerned that this would require a complete revamping of the CPAT.
“We’ll need to start testing potential recruits for their ability to do things like being pulled around by the nose with the pick end of a Halligan bar,” the source said. He also said he has reservations about replacing “Mayday, Mayday, Mayday” with “Hello, Hello, Hello.”
When asked about these and other issues with the training program, Kurley danced in place while running both hands down his face in rapid succession and said, “Woob, woob, woob, woob, woob,” and ran out of the room.