By Paul Soteropoulos
Firefighter-paramedic, Los Angeles County Fire Department
First vice president, Firefighter Cancer Support Network
 Photo courtesy of FCSN Paul Soteropoulos says he has discovered a life that is much better than his old life. |
I think when I felt the pain, I knew it was something big. I just had that feeling. Kind-of weird, huh? First, I was pretty blown away, then, well, I guess I was pretty blown away for a while. In fact, I am still blown away — in a different way — but I will get into that later.
Cancer is not the end, it is the beginning. That may sound strange but that is the way I feel. Maybe if I was dying it would be differently, but after two years in remission, I’m feeling pretty good.
Let’s see, where to start? Well, I guess the beginning. I was diagnosed with a tumor on my right testicle on a Monday morning. I was surprised that things moved so quickly. To my astonishment, I was on the operating table that night. My thinking was — and still is — let’s get this crap out of me like double-quick because, let’s face it, it’s eating me. The tumor they removed that night was 2.5 centimeters, 100 percent embryonal carcinoma.
Next step was the dreaded waiting game and decision-making process. This sucked for me because my doctor, although a great doc and surgeon, was a bit too laid back in my opinion. I thought things should move faster than they were. I didn’t think I should have to wait a week for my labs to come back; they should be ready before the lab tech withdraws the needle from my arm for Pete’s sake! After all, this cancer stuff is pretty serious isn’t it?
My friends who had known people in my predicament in the past hounded me to go to a cancer center or specialty hospital. Although I was and still am confident with my own doctors, the surgery I needed is pretty uncommon, even rare, and my own urologist had never actually performed this huge procedure.
Key factor
This piece of information was a key factor that influenced our decision-making process. I am sure my doctor was more than capable of doing a great job on me, but nonetheless we were more comfortable going to someone more experienced with this particular procedure.
In addition, before I forget, my wife and I studied pamphlets, surfed the Internet and talked to people to arm ourselves with as much knowledge as possible. This comprehension of my disease was somehow empowering for us. We became cancer know-it-alls and that proved to be more than just helpful.
And, to finish a thought from the beginning of this testament: As it turns out, my own urologist was not “too laid back” as I stated before. He was very calm and reassuring, which taught me to be more philosophical about my disease. He had no ego when it came to questions and treatment options. He also encouraged me to seek another opinion from one of his colleagues at the U.S.C. Norris Cancer Hospital in Los Angeles.
So, it was off to the cancer center, and not a moment too soon. I was to meet the famous Dr. Donald Skinner on Tuesday and have this extensive surgery just two short days later on Thursday. Now that’s a pace more reasonable in my opinion. Let’s get this show on the road already, my lymph nodes aren’t getting any smaller!
The rest is more blah, blah, blah. The important stuff is to have a positive attitude, strong support system — family and firehouse — and to accept the help. Looking back at the whole experience, I now realize I am one of the luckiest men alive.
My marriage and family life is great. I got to see my wife at her absolute best and she never faltered. The rest of my family was also strong and positive. My neighbors were encouraging and helpful.
Department family
My fire department family was awesome as well. I think more work was done around my house when I was sick than when I was healthy. They worked on all my projects, tiled my kitchen, put food on our table and provided entertainment, too. Actually, that help was hard to accept because I felt like an inconvenience to all the guys. But that’s just what we do as firefighters.
My brother-in law put it into perspective for me back then. He is the computer hardware, chip, engineer, white collar, educated, smart type of guy. When I told him about all the things my fellow firefighters were doing for our family, he said, “You are so lucky. Do you know what my workmates would be thinking about if I got sick? They would be after my job.”
Life goes on. Sounds clichéd but it does. I have discovered a life that is much better than my old life. This may not sound rational but my life is, well, complete. I am a much better man post-cancer than I ever would have been without going through the cancer experience.
One way I look at it is that I have reconfigured my priorities. I used to be pretty much backwards as far as what issues in my day-to-day life were paramount. Another way I look at my life is, well, kind-of like I can see the world through the eyes of one of my kids. Everything seems new and crisp, clean and fresh, not tainted or jaded. I can also say that all my relationships are much better than before. I am different. I am better.
I took comfort and strength knowing that many people had been right where I was, whether they lived or died. I was not alone. I also took great comfort in the love and support of my family. Lastly, the support of all my fellow firefighters made my battle and recovery a much more attainable goal.
We are also here for you and your family. We are here to help in any capacity needed. You are not alone, for we are here, we are brothers, and we are survivors.
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