Editor’s Note: Former U.S. Fire Administrator Dr. Lori Moore-Merrell sat down with FireRescue1 to share how a colleague’s kindness in her early career allowed her to fully commit to the job, and why the fire family is an important part of fire service culture. Read the full video transcript below.
Can you recall a time when the brother/sisterhood showed up for you in your time of need? Email editor@firerescue1.com to share your story!
Question: Can you share an example of how another firefighter showed up for you, highlighting the spirit of brotherhood and sisterhood in the fire service?
Dr. Lori Moore-Merrell: This is a fantastic question, talking about how firefighters help other firefighters. I will just go back to my time in the department. I went on to the department in the late 1980s, and it was a time when there were not a lot of women yet on the job. There were a few — in fact, I was the sixth woman hired in Memphis at the time.
And so, I went into a station where I was the only one … with male counterparts and I was a single mom when I went on the job … and that made for an interesting dynamic because we worked 24-hour shifts and I remember just sharing my childcare situation with some of the folks, in particularly my partner, and some of the guys at shift change, you know, at shift change you have some interaction with other firefighters, and as I shared it, one of the paramedics off the other shift says, “You know, my wife does some childcare.” And I said, “Well, you know, we’re talking about 24 hours here. It’s not like, a nine to five situation.” He said, “Well, I think we might can make that work.”
And I was just blown away, because it was not something that is normal, a 24-hour childcare giver. Somebody was willing to open their home; this wasn’t an institution, this was another firefighter’s home and his wife, not him. And so, I went to meet his wife — wonderful individual, and never a doubt, she never had a doubt about saying yes … saying, “Yes, I’ll care for your baby,” [who] was an infant at the time. “I’ll care for your baby.” And she did that from the time he was an infant until he started school, and even in kindergarten, would go and pick him up after kindergarten and care for him until the next morning.
And so, it was something that I can never repay. Something that happened organically from a firefighter family caring for another firefighter/paramedic counterpart. That, to me, is a family beyond family. You know, we hear often about the fire department or your fire station being your second family. It’s absolutely true and I hope that we can ensure today that those kinds of relationships carry forward. I think it is important that we care for each other, that we know each other’s families, that we host each other’s families — real families — in the station so that they get to know each other.
I remember just going to this individual’s home when we were both off shift because he was on a different shift from me and just being part of their family. And so, it wasn’t just that they did childcare for me. We would go over there even on the days off and have kiddie pool parties and just a meal together.
And so, it really is an extension of the fire department family that makes you feel welcome. It’s caring for people who can never repay the kindness that you’ve shown them. And that’s what I experienced in my early career.
