Times Free Press
CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — When Maria Moore’s husband became a Chattanooga firefighter after six years of marriage, she wasn’t expecting how much stress the job would put on their relationship.
The 24-hour shifts, the traumatic calls, the fear for his safety — it all grew and grew until the couple reached a near-breaking point last year, as they neared 10 years of marriage.
“Last year, he had a lot of stressful calls,” Moore said. “Our communication between us was almost nonexistent. We had to fix the way we communicated, the way we handled things.”
By some estimates, three of four marriages involving a firefighter end in divorce, Moore discovered.
“And I thought, ‘If we’re having this issue, others must be, too,’” she said. So this year, she and her husband, Rick Moore Jr., started a new nonprofit organization to offer support to the spouses of firefighters: Real Firewives of America.
Now the Moores are partnering with the Chattanooga Fire Department to offer classes to firefighter recruits and their spouses — classes designed to give couples some sense of what to expect in their relationships once the recruit starts active duty. The “Family Fire Academy” is the first of its kind at the department, said deputy fire marshal Seth Miller. The first class took place June 25.
Miller helped put together the curriculum, which he said includes everything from the importance of communication to the effects of post-traumatic stress. The classes also include a panel discussion with current firefighter spouses, who can offer practical advice to incoming couples.
“There is tremendous value in being a firefighter, and it is a noble profession,” Miller said. “We just want to be real and acknowledge some challenges, too. Hopefully they can learn from our mistakes and that kind of thing.”
He added that the department’s training is open to both wives and husbands of current recruits. At some point, he’d like to expand the training to the entire department.
The Moores also have plans to expand Real Firewives of America beyond the current classes at the department and are brainstorming several ideas, like creating a program for wives to donate supplies directly to the victims of fires their husbands extinguished, Maria Moore said.
Each program will be aimed at supporting and educating the spouses as they navigate the unique stresses of a firefighting career, the Moores said.
“He’s got to learn how to get acclimated to what he sees, and she has to get acclimated to how he deals with what he sees,” said Rick Moore, who works as a firefighter at the Wacker plant in Cleveland.
Eventually, the Moores would like to start local chapters of Firewives across the country.
“We live in a different world,” Moore said. “But just because we’re different doesn’t mean we can’t make it work.”
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